I'm Rodney Dezmund Part VI

I'm Rodney Dezmund.  Guitarist of neo-pre-post band The Hardcore Jollies, Mitch Masterson, has a reputation for being quite a hot headed and violent tempered thug.  News stories of Masterson's run ins with the law seem to surface weekly and they're usually a result of his insane outbursts and uncontrollable rage.  At least that's what the media would have you believe.  Mitch seems to have spent the better part of his life looking out at the world from behind iron bars and barbed wire fences.  And when he's not seeing the world from behind bars, he's usually seeing it from behind some two dollar hooker's big ass.  Mitch Masterson lives fast and hard.  However, there is a more gentle side to Mitch that is rarely seen by the general public.  Over the weekend, I had the pleasure to visit Mitch at his upstate New York mansion and listen to some of his new material.  Mitch and his lovely wife of the moment, Twatta, cooked a huge feast consisting of homemade haggis, deviled eggs, and instant mashed potatos drenched in ketchup.  After our meal, Mitch took me into his six-million dollar recording studio, lit up a huge blunt, and threw on some of the tracks from the upcoming Jollies album.  But my attention soon drifted from the sounds booming from the speakers to the incredible collection of Lassie memorabilia that adorned the walls and shelves of the huge studio.  I found it unusual that a man with a reputation like Mitch would be interested, actually, obsessed with such a wholesome all American TV show.  I asked him what it was about Lassie that sparked his interest.  Mitch turned the music down and became very serious.  I thought for a moment he might hit me.  He removed his sunglasses, rubbed his eyes, sighed, and took a long drag from the blunt.  As he exhaled, he explained to me in a very soft spoken and reserved voice that he has felt as though he's been stuck in a well his entire life.  There's never been anybody there to pull him up when he's down.  Lassie represents hope to Mitch.  It's a hope that one day a saviour will hear his screams of pain and run for help.  Pull him out of his deep and dark well.  When Mitch was a youngster, in and out of Juvie, the only show he was allowed to watch while locked up was Lassie.  It was his only guidance and what gave him the little morals that he now has.  When Mitch feels the urge to smash and kill, he thinks about Lassie.  Sometimes it works.  Usually it doesn't.  I asked Mitch why he doesn't have any dogs or pets.  His response?  "I hate fuckin' animals!  I don't even let Lynx in here aside from laying down his vocal parts.  That son of a bitch chewed a huge hole in my ten-thousand dollar sofa once!  Fucker thinks he's a bobcat or some shit.  Bej had to hide all my guns while the other guys held me on the floor and calmed me down.  I was gonna kill that little asshole!  No pets for me, Fucker!  No fuckin' way.  Lassie?  Now, Lassie's different.  She wasn't a dog.  She was a goddess.  There will never be another."

Mitch let me snap some photographs of the memorabilia.  Among the items were a few lunchboxes, an autographed photo of Timmy, a sample of Lassie's fecal matter, and a rare photograph of Lassie with welterweight world champion boxer, Emile Griffith.  Quite a unique collection!

I'm Rodney Dezmund Part V

I'm Rodney Dezmund.  Take some time for yourself today.  Look around you.  Play in the snow.  Or sniff some flowers if they're around you.  Or some panties.  Run yourself a warm bubble bath and light some candles and some incense.  Put some rain forest sounds on the stereo system.  Dip an apple in some caramel and put a stick in it and lick it.  Get a rub.  Go to an orgy with a bunch of hippy devil worshippers.  Let a butterfly catch you.  Look at birds through binoculars.  Experiment with explosives.  Today is your day.  Don't throw it in the trash.

I'm Rodney Dezmund Part IV

I'm Rodney Dezmund.

James Hardge is a

I'm Rodney Dezmund Part III

I'm Rodney Dezmund.  Johnny "Guitar" Watson was a preacher, pimp, drug abuser, and above all a pioneering Texas blues, jazz, and funk guitarist who was a major influence on Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, Jimi Hendrix, and Steve Miller among others.  He was the original "Gangster Of Love".  As a matter of fact, I've heard that Johnny's classic "Three Hours Past Midnight" was the biggest influence on Zappa to pick up a guitar and start playing.  In addition to his blues/rock/r&b cuts of the 50's and 60's, Mr. Watson released a series of funk albums in the 1970's and had some pretty big hits with songs such as "A Real Mutha For Ya" and "Superman Lover".  Some of these albums were dismissed by the blues community as hokey pop records, and he even dipped his toes into a little disco for a minute towards the end of the decade.  Personally, I think some of the cuts from the funk albums are just as classic as his earlier material and have stood the test of time.  I'm not too big on the disco stuff, but funk cuts like "Superman Lover" make me wanna fly and smooth jams such as "I Wanna Ta Ta You Baby" make me want to squeeze on some titties. 
Anyways, I'm here to talk to you about his 1981 album, Johnny Guitar Watson And The Family Clone.  I always avoided picking up any of the late 70's and early 80's albums because I had just assumed that they were filled with disco and post-disco 80's synth nonsense and although there is a bit of that from this period, man, was I wrong about this one.  This is one of the most unique sounding R&B records from the 1980's I have ever heard.  These are completely spaced out down and dirty weirdo funk jams.  And Mr. Watson plays all of the instruments himself (there is a credit on the album given to an additional drummer, but I read an interview with that drummer and he denies involvement here).  There are a lot of places here that remind me of Shuggie Otis and Sly Stone (whom which the album's title is an obvious nod to).  There's even a spot or two with a little Stevie vibe.  Blues purists will want to steer clear of this one and  I'm not saying that Family Clone is a masterpiece or anything, but if you like your funk on the adventurous side, I highly reccomend this release.  Mr. Watson is not playing it safe here.

Johnny "Guitar" Watson died on stage in the middle of a performance in Japan on May 16th, 1996.  I heard that the song he was performing was "Superman Lover", but that could just be rumour.  I hope it was though.

I'm Rodney Dezmund Part II

I'm Rodney Dezmund.  In 2010 the world lost some very important musicians who were experienced in the art of sweet love and tender emotions.  Thank you Teddy Pendergrass, Solomon Burke, and Teena Marie for contributing to some serious hump and grind sessions and turning my world into a romantic and smooth palace.  I hope you all rest in peace.  The worlds of sex and music have suffered three great losses.  Damn you, 2010, for softening my hard on by robbing us of these masters and continuing to promote even more mediocre love songs by talentless little boys and girls.  The world is in desperate need for some new serious grown folk music.

I'm Rodney Dezmund

My name is Rodney Dezmund.  I have been CEO of James & Palmer Hot Combs since 2008.  I was born in Porkspoon, West Virginia in 1974 and moved to Burbank, California after I graduated high school with dreams of becoming an actor and professional singer/songwriter.  I got some jobs modeling for billboard ads and local sales papers and even landed myself a spot on The Dating Game (I lost).  I eventually landed some gigs both acting in and writing jingles for a string of Red Barn Burgers commercials.  I also got a bit part in Bruce Cherry's 1996 mini-series Culture Of Ashes.  I have sung and played keyboard and guitar in coffee shops all over the western United States.  I got somewhat of a break in the music business when I had the honor to open up for the legendary Soul Team Of Chauncey & The Dunna Man during their short lived 2002 reunion tour.  In 2004 I was selling cocaine out of my one room apartment while working part time in a day care center for low wages and travelling with a Shakespeare theatre group on weekends still hoping for my big break in the entertainment business.  That night came in 2007 when James Palmer, owner of James & Palmer Hot Combs, caught my act in The Wake Up Club Coffe Room in Oxnard.  He approached me during one of my breaks, twirling his moustache and grinning, and told me that I would make a great new CEO at his successful hot comb company.  From 2007 to 2009 I saved the company over seven-million-dollars and designed and created a new website for them (eventually shut down due to extremely graphic adult content and instructions for creating various homemade weapons) that boosted their online sales over three-hundred percent.  It is now 2011 and Mr. Palmer has granted me the tool$ to create my own record label, Hot Roller Records!  I will definitely have my hands full this year while still performing my duties of CEO at James & Palmer and getting this new record label off the ground.  I am currently in negotiations with Sombrero Records to buy the rights of the still unreleased 2009 reunion album by my old buddies The Soul Team Of Chauncey & The Dunna Man.  The public needs to hear this album!  Already signed to the label is Youngstown, Ohio's hip hop crew Starrkrunch, psychedelic rockers from Madrid, Mrs. Grundy's Special Place, and and the heavy jazz-funk crew from Scottsbluff, Nebraska, The Scottsbluff Prophets.  All of these albums and more should hopefully be dropping by late 2011/early 2012.  If you are a musician searching for distribution from a very reliable and business savvy ex drug dealer, please contact me at this blog.  I will be accepting demos and will get around to hearing everything as soon as my busy schedule allows for it.  I am looking forward to this new adventure in life and hope that it takes me, my artists, and all of the fans on an incredible journey.  Stay with me.  Let's get bigger together!